407. MY ECCENTRIC JOURNEY INTO MASCULINITY

Norman Mailer quotes

• Masculinity is not something given to you, but something you gain. And you gain it by winning small battles with honor.

• Because there is very little honor left in American life, there is a certain built-in tendency to destroy masculinity in American men.

• And my favorite: There is nothing safe about sex.

I read Mailer’s books as a boy and became obsessed with him, but learned when I revisited his work decades later that he had sustained a serious head injury in 1970 during a movie filming and that this explained his fistfights and irrational aggression. This barely dimmed his appeal for me, however.

Football, boxing, MMA, and other sports where brain damage is accepted have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” status today. Boxers and others become progressively more aggressive yet more successful as they repeatedly suffer micro-traumas to the frontal lobes of their brains.

Ultimately, this is a disaster, and sports like these should be banned for our youth, but the big money that supports them doesn’t care about harming people.

Scouting taught me to challenge myself physically and emotionally

After my Boy Scout background, at 16, I enrolled in the North Carolina Outward Bound adventure program and soon found myself climbing the vertical cliff face of Table Rock Mountain with an instructor. The trap was sprung, and I was hooked on rock climbing for the rest of my life. This drew me all over the US to every major climbing area. I’ll describe part of this insanity below, and you can judge whether it made any sense.

I have even told my kids that my “climbing career” was more important to me than anything else. Although I meant it at the time—and they accepted it—I know, and I hope they know now, that they have always been at the top of my list.

My mercury poisoning

During my pre-teen years, a criminal dentist (aren’t they all?) conspired with my obsessive mother to place 17 mercury amalgams into my natural tooth crevices, claiming these would “prevent cavities.” (They use the same retarded reasoning to sell prophylactically removing wisdom teeth.) All mercury fillings gradually dissolve over a few decades, and much of the mercury enters the brain and is never cleared. I am certain this magnified my naturally anxious, compulsive character, and eventually gave me Parkinson’s disease. See Judas Dentistry for a full explanation.

Although my life seemed an epic, surreal adventure as I lived it, part of my story and quirky personality was surely mercury toxicity. I was “mad as a hatter,*” but I soldiered on through unexplained tremors and anxiety, never suspecting until I was in my late 60s that I was betrayed by Judas dentists.

My wife Judy once observed that my drama-queen mother was the most irritating woman in our practice, among thousands of difficult and often postmenopausal characters. As I reflect on it now, I realize that she must have had a mouth full of mercury as well, and she got Parkinson’s in her 60s, just like me. I always knew she had a screw loose, but never suspected poisoning. I wish I could say I forgive her.

I have interviewed several people whose anxiety resolved after amalgam removal, and this partly happened to me several years ago, decades after most of the damage was done. Humans are adaptable; we learned this again and again during the Covid genocide. We can put up with lies, yet still learn, endure health assaults, and still prosper.

*18th- and 19th-century hat-makers suffered from chronic mercury poisoning, which caused symptoms such as trembling, slurred speech, hallucinations, and erratic behavior.

Here is the background to understand this post

You may think I have my own loose screw, but if you bear with me, you will understand how the climbing community rewards what normies would consider suicidal behavior.

The Yosemite Decimal System classifies the difficulty of rock climbs. Class 5 technical climbing, originally said to require rope and protection, was subdivided from 5.0 to 5.9. By the 1960s, climbers had improved, and the scale was eventually expanded to 5.10, then to 5.15, the current top end. Each division is a substantial increase in difficulty.

Soloing is climbing without a rope. On mountain routes, roping up for every section of easy terrain is impractical and dangerous. When you’re navigating a glacier at dawn or descending loose scree as weather moves in, the time spent using a rope can turn a routine day into a survival situation.

Most competent climbers only solo-climb terrain well below their technical limit, typically staying four or more number grades beneath what they can lead on a rope. A climber who can confidently lead 5.12a might solo 5.7 or 5.8, where the moves feel trivial and the exposure is manageable psychologically.

But somewhere in climbing culture, these ideas morphed into an ethic. “Running it out”—placing minimal protection while roped—became a marker of skill, boldness, and purity. The logic seems sound: if you’re solid at a given grade, why clutter the experience with a rope or excessive protection hardware? For the top twenty climbers in the world, this calculus works. Their strength, technique, and mental control create margins of safety that don’t exist for the rest of us. They don’t slip. They read rock perfectly. Their fitness prevents the creeping fatigue that opens fingers.

It all made sense to me. I frequently overestimated my competence, and although I broke bones, I never paid the ultimate price. Quinn Brett, an accomplished female climber, fell over 100 feet on El Capitan’s Boot Flake in October 2017 while speed climbing. She had removed protection behind her to save time and weight—and placed nothing to protect her—in the Boot Flake, a 5.10c hand crack. She fell over 100 feet and was paralyzed from the waist down when she broke her T12 vertebra. About 25% of the top soloists in history died climbing.

Practicing routes makes them more predictable. When Alex Honnold free-soloed El Capitan’s Freerider route (5.13a), he had rehearsed the most difficult part on a rope dozens of times. Before her fall, Brett had climbed the Nose eight times and held the women’s speed record from 2012. But even for elite climbers, the math works until it doesn’t. For those who overestimate their abilities, it’s Russian roulette from the start.

Climbers develop hand strength that helps protect them. I am 72 and have Parkinson’s, but I’m still walking around the gym with two 80-pound kettlebells doing “farmer’s carries.”

Thias Face (5.6) solo at Seneca Rocks, West Virginia

These rock fins are just a few feet wide at the top and were the scene of my coming of age in climbing. When my leading capability was only 5.8+, I nervously soloed Thias. I had done it once before.

Joshua Tree National Monument: Leave it to Beaver (12a/b) on lead, and Clean and Jerk (10b) solo

My first day in JT came in my mid-20s, after a winter hitchhike from where I was working as a roughneck in a Wyoming oilfield to Southern California. I got a lucky ride up the hill into the Monument at dusk. As the next morning dawned cold, I met a well-known older climber, John Lakey, sitting in a lotus position on a rock doing yoga. He was Ray Jardine’s partner, and they made the first ascent of Yosemite’s Phoenix, the first 5.13 in the US. Lakey climbed another of their projects, Owl Roof (5.12c), before Ray did.

It was the start of my long love affair with the Monument. We did hundreds of the classic climbs, and in later years, we would hang out at the base of Leave it to Beaver and run laps on a top rope. It is overhung, but the holds are good if you know what you are doing. John Bachar was the first to free climb and solo it, and he later became the greatest solo artist of his day.

HERE is the link to the above video.

Clean and Jerk (5.10) is the crack you can see in the video just to the left of the Beaver, and it was my hardest solo.

Bachar died later at 52, soloing a thin, dangerous route on Dyke wall in Mammoth Lakes. By then, like us all, he was diminished by age and injury.

Separate Reality (12a)

I did this 20-foot horizontal “roof” crack on lead, but it is now soloed occasionally by experts. Because it fit my hands well, this was easier than it looks.

Astroman (5.11c) on Washington Column

To give you an idea of how maladjusted I was, I attempted to solo an easy route on the Column, the South Face (5.8), during my honeymoon with my first wife. When it started raining and the rock became slippery, I backed off from about halfway up. She should have left me then because of this stunt, but she must have thought I was a diamond in the rough. Our marriage lasted four years.

I climbed Astroman twice. John Bachar was part of the team that first climbed the route. I met him in the middle of Astroman as his team passed mine one afternoon and apologized for a satirical piece I had published about him in Climbing Magazine. He generously replied, “Any publicity is good publicity, Bob.” If you want more Bachar, HERE is a video of a friend of mine climbing his masterpiece Bachar-Yerian in Touloumne Meadows.

The Crucifix (5.12b) is harder

I did it with my dear friend Chris Gonzalez, and yes, we were leading these grades back then.

The climb is a spectacular multi-pitch route on Higher Cathedral Rock. It’s accessed after climbing routes like Mary’s Tears or the Northeast Buttress, which bring you to what’s called “the Crucifix ledge.” The climb is:

• Technical and sustained; multiple pitches with parts at 11c and 11d

• The crux pitch features thin, scary, insecure stemming

• One of the best long routes in the valley

I climbed it mostly by chimneying, using my feet on one side of a corner and my back on the other. In those days, this was my forte. We only fell on the crux pitch.

Nose-in-a-Day (5.10 A2) on Yosemite’s El Capitan

For several years, I became obsessed with climbing the Nose fast. I went up to try it five or six times and completed it twice—sort of. Once, I was with Hans Florine, which is cheating because he is so fast and does all the work. The other time, I was with two other companions like me, and it took us 26 hours.

We studied the route, debated about it, and packed carefully. One time, after several judgment errors, I took a 30-foot swinging fall into the Stove Legs corners and broke my foot. We rappelled down, then I crawled the mile to the road. That foot still talks to me.

Accidents happen even to the immortals like Florine, who has done the route over 100 times. In 2018, in a 25-foot fall, Hans broke his left tibia, fibula, and ankle. Additionally, he shattered his right heel bone, which is the same type of fracture that caused the arthritis I live with now. He required a helicopter rescue.

Hans’s motto was, “Safety first, fun second, speed third,” but he must have momentarily forgotten it.

In the climbing gym

These days, I am climbing my way back down the grades. My limit is 5.8 using an autobelay.

Do I have regrets?

Climbing and other experiences have shaped me into the man I am today, and they have been richly rewarding. Although I have endured hardships, it has always been interesting.

I have an independent wife who gave me enough time away from my family to climb, and I had enough. I am a little bit crippled now, but I am using DMSO to gradually remodel my joints; yes, this is a thing—read the post linked below. My painful ankles were number one on my problem list a year ago, but are now good enough to do what I want almost pain-free.

You must be patient with DMSO and use it both orally and topically. If I had discovered it before my shoulder replacements, I would not have had them, and I would be more functional. Read DMSO MADE ME STINK SO BAD THAT MY WIFE KICKED ME OUT OF THE HOUSE. I exaggerated the smell problem in this essay for dramatic effect. Oral chlorophyll and activated charcoal prevent it. Use the search bar in my archives at the upper right to find more.

What does Judy think about all this?

Before we were engaged, she told me she just loved climbing. After we were married, she stopped going with me, but she still claimed she liked me. But after our first kid was born, her affections snapped off like a light.

This is mostly, but not completely, tongue-in-cheek. Family men learn brutal maturity through their experiences.

Reality check: Alex Honnold just soloed the Taiwanese skyscraper Taipei 101

I should have thought of it first; the difficulty grade is only about 5.6. Watch him on YouTube HERE.

Dedication

Katrina Lewis was the smartest person in any room. (See that link for her interview.) A couple of months ago, she was so short of breath from breast cancer lung metastases that she gave up and entered hospice. We lost contact with her, and she has presumably passed.

I told Kat 18 months before she died that if she removed her seven (7) root canals, her cancer would probably disappear. She DFL even after I sent her a hard copy of Judas Dentistry, and she paid the price for her arrogance. She was a virtual relationship for me, but I still sorely miss her.

This post is also dedicated to my readers. Your ability to think, study, and change your mind is all that saves you (and me) from Katrina’s fate.

Editing credits: Jim Arnold of Liar’s World Substack, Elizabeth Cronin, and Noralf Mork.

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Parting shot: TMI about NIAD

Background and History

The Nose route on El Capitan goes 3,000 feet up the massive granite prow, spanning 28-31 pitches depending on how they’re linked. Rated 5.9 C2 for aid climbing or 5.14a when climbed entirely free, it’s the most famous big wall climb on Earth.

Warren Harding, Wayne Merry, and George Whitmore made the first ascent over 47 days in 1958 using siege tactics with fixed ropes. The climb that seemed to take months became a single-day feat just 17 years later, when Jim Bridwell, John Long, and Billy Westbay completed it in 17 hours and 45 minutes in 1975.

The speed record fell progressively from there. By 1985, only about 10 one-day ascents had been completed. Peter Croft and Dave Schultz dropped the time to 6:40 in 1990. Hans Florine, who would become the route’s most prolific climber with over 100 ascents, set multiple records with various partners throughout the 1990s and 2000s. Dean Potter and Timmy O’Neill broke the 4-hour barrier in 2001 with 3:24:20. Florine and Yuji Hirayama went under 3 hours in 2002 at 2:48:55.

In 2017, Brad Gobright and Jim Reynolds shocked the climbing world by breaking the longstanding Florine-Honnold record with 2:19:44 on their 17th attempt. The following year, Alex Honnold and Tommy Caldwell shattered the 2-hour barrier, setting the current record at 1:58:07 on June 6, 2018.

Solo

Steve Schneider made the first rope-solo NIAD in 1989, taking 21:22. Dean Potter lowered the solo record to 12:59 in 1999. I have watched THIS video about it a dozen times.

Alex Honnold held the solo record at around 5:50 until Nick Ehman broke it in 2023 with 4:39—both using a mix of free and aid climbing, not free-solo. Solo climbers must go up each pitch, then down it to pull the protection from the rock, and finally get back up before starting the next pitch.

Hans Florine and His Book

Hans Florine’s 2016 book On the Nose: A Lifelong Obsession with Yosemite’s Most Iconic Climb chronicles his 101 ascents through that point. It captures his rivalry with Dean Potter, his evolution from a failed 14-hour first attempt to record-setting times, and his relationships with climbing’s elite. Florine also produced the multi-media series “How to Climb the Nose,” which sold over 2,000 copies and is a valuable resource. I studied all this like a Bible.

Route Description and Detail

The Nose “beta” has become extraordinarily detailed. SuperTopo guidebooks provide pitch-by-pitch topos. Florine’s audio guide for NIAD includes annotated topos, images of specific pitches, and crucial details about lower-outs, pendulums, and gear placements. Climbers mark holds with chalk, study videos of previous ascents, and practice dangerous sections until they can execute them safely at speed. The level of detail extends to knowing exactly which size expandable cam goes where, how long the aiders should be, the optimal rope lengths for specific maneuvers, and where to place virtually every piece of protection along all 3,000 feet.

Physical Toll

A NIAD exacts a brutal price. Climbers report vomiting from exertion, feet resembling “cooked lobster,” complete exhaustion, and dry heaving at the summit. The route requires sustained, full-body effort for 12-20 hours to succeed. Speed attempts demand such intense focus that safety takes a back seat.

Descent Options

The standard descent follows the East Ledges route, a technical, sometimes exposed walk-off that takes 3+ hours and demands careful navigation, especially in the dark. Multiple parties have become stranded after getting lost. The descent includes four rappels on fixed ropes, one with a knotted-off, partly cut section that requires a device to pass. Climbers can rappel the entire route, but this is mostly done as a stunt. I did it once after hiking up the trail to the top.

How Many Have Completed NIAD?

Today, the Nose sees NIAD attempts many times a season. Success rate hovers around 60% for all attempts, meaning many quit due to moving too slowly rather than the inability to climb individual pitches.

Sub-5-Hour Ascents

The sub-5-hour club is elite. Hans Florine, Peter Croft, and Dave Schultz first broke the barrier in the early 1990s. By 2001, times had dropped below 4 hours. Currently, dozens of climbers have achieved sub-5-hour times, though exact numbers aren’t tracked. The sub-3-hour club is far more exclusive, and only Honnold and Caldwell have broken the 2-hour mark.

Deaths and Rescues

Over 30 climbers have died on El Capitan between 1905 and 2018, with specific deaths on the Nose including multiple fatal rappelling accidents, a 3-person anchor failure on the Stoveleg section, two Japanese climbers who froze one pitch from the summit in 1984, and various leader falls. Parkwide, Yosemite sees approximately 100 climbing accidents and 15-25 rescues annually. The day after Honnold and Caldwell set their record, two climbers died on the Nose. Speed climbing increases risk—Brad Gobright noted, “to say it’s safe would be a total lie.” He died in a rappelling accident in South America.

Aid Techniques for 12-18 Hour Ascents

NIAD parties use “French-free” extensively—pulling on slings, clipping bolts as handholds, standing in aiders for brief sections, then reverting to free climbing. The route can be done at 5.10 free climbing for most sections, with C2 aid on harder pitches. Speed parties carry minimal gear compared to multi-day ascents, often simul-climbing easier sections with virtually no protection between climbers. Standing in aiders occurs mainly on the aid pitches in the upper section—the top 8-9 pitches follow mostly 1-2 inch cracks where climbers can push link cams while free climbing or walk two link cams if aiding. The key is whatever’s fastest and most energy-efficient: if pulling a sling saves 30 seconds versus free climbing a move, you pull the sling.